Tuesday 23 June 2015

The Crochet Crusades and Other Knitting Fables


Sometimes when Ali got stuck for a design concept, she gave her cat a bunch of yarn to play with and hair sprayed the result.





Frederica saw no reason why she shouldn't embrace her love of classic Chanel styles and patchwork quilts at the same time.





Troy, a museum curator, made a sort of hobby of creating historical textile pieces for the alternate universe he had created in his mind. He felt that his concept of armour for the Crochet Crusades was likely to prove his masterpiece.






Isabelle, a busy woman, saved time by simultaneously rehearsing for her dance recitals and knitting Christmas presents.





Brook had finally realized his vision of the perfect rave outfit, but felt it was all for nothing because he couldn't get his right sock to stay up.





Raoul's sperm sweater was one of the most acclaimed entries in the Male Pride Fashion Show.





When Timothea's design class instructor criticized her designs for being "too tube-like" and "structurally lacking", Timothea dutifully added curves and structure to her next design, only to receive a bewildering and terse "see me after class" comment from the instructor.





Rex was very proud of his new swim sweater, though he thought he could have done better at coordinating it with his Speedos. However, he reminded himself, with the right hair, one can get away with such minor sartorial missteps.





When Phillipa decided she'd missed her true calling of becoming a dental hygienist but wanted to finish out her last year of design school for the sake of finishing what she'd started, she decided that, rather than design a year-end project from scratch, she could just get creative with whatever swatches and half-finished projects she had lying around her dorm room.





There comes a point in many a model's life at which the model realizes that no amount of money makes it worth appearing in public in bizarre crap, and when Sullivan found himself on a runway in fishnet stockings and a sweater made out of steering wheel covers while being half-blinded by camera flashes, he realized he'd zoomed right past that point.

3 comments:

  1. :D Fabulously funny as always! Than you!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. hehe -that really made me laugh here. And I had the same thoughts (well, nearly) about the last one, before reading your text.
    My version was a tid-bit shorter though: "oh my, that poor boy"

    Love reading your blog and wonder why I haven't discovered it earlier. Am looking forward to come again.

    ReplyDelete
  3. that purple sweater and speedos!! The atrocities in yarn! You have a genius for finding the most appalling things.

    ReplyDelete